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My Old House

by Matt Kreisher

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1.
I've been smoking with a heart condition I've been meaning to tell you about it But when we're talking I never mention No I don't know it yet but I got my suspicions All my life is just a pantomime When I'm dying will you stick around Or will you go back to your life I couldn't blame you Yeah what would I do We've been talking late into the night Did I live my life did I even try Because it felt like I was part of a big plan I've been waiting so long for something to happen My whole life has just floated by And I'm trying to stay on the ground And I heard you say you don't feel alive anymore I couldnt blame you What can I do
2.
Hey, look outside it's twilight At dawn the warmest orange light I pour the drugs into a pile Before you fall asleep, wait awhile I mentioned Jeff was coming over Somehow he got ten months sober He always wants us to change and to live right But we can's right now, it's twilight And everybody else is gone I'm talking loud with the stereo on I've got nothing better to do I've got nothing better than you John's dad came to visit me in county He talked about Jesus and the army He tells me when I get out I'm gonna fly right His words not mine, but that's what I like And everybody else is gone The house arrest phone is ringing on and on I've got nothing better to do I've got nothing better than you I've been trying to find you since Friday Sitting at the house is so boring I remembered your shadow in the mirror I remembered you crying in the corner Hey look outside it's twilight Talking to myself, but that's what I'm like I pour the drugs into a pile I can bare this loneliness awhile And everyone is truly gone I see your picture pinned up on my wall I've got nothing better to do I've got nothing better than you I've got nothing left to do I've got nothing left but you
3.
Arrest 02:51
Something happened I don't know what to do She just stopped breathing And all of her skin turned blue Did you call the cops or the ambulance cause We were breaking the law And she needs medical attention And I don't have to mention anything we did Just wanna move on with the night And get on with our lives There's always tomorrow To make a better choice Already forgotten Yesterday's horror And I don't plan to die Anytime soon It;s just that normal life Never held my attention And I don't wanna be the one Bringing you down Maybe go find somewhere else to hang around The memory is sweet Soft as a sheet A feeling to pleasant Hard to forget Cardiac cardiac arrest Call the ambulance Something happened I don't know what to do She just stopped breathing And all of her skin turned blue Did you call the cops or the ambulance cause We were breaking the law And she needs medical attention I never wanna be the one Bringing you down Maybe go find somewhere else to hang around The memory is sweet Soft as a sheet A feeling to pleasant Hard to forget No one's here, no one's here but me Grinding my, grinding my teeth You ran out of time Follow the light Does anything happen after you die Cardiac cardiac arrest Call the ambulance
4.
5.
Way back when I was so young And I fought like hell until the nurses got me strapped To the table and the needle found my vein And I grimaced at the thought of losing Any more blood than I already gave Once you lose enough you're never the same Thought I heard a voice like rattling chains As the preacher came in to say You've been living hard too long And there's nowhere left to go from here You'll see any day All your friends have gone away And you can't stand the thought of causing Any more pain than you already have No sign of God or his fucked up plan Thought I heard his voice come thundering Maybe just another storm again I wanna know if I'm worthy of Hell Cause it feels like I'm already here I push the remedy deeper down into my bloodstream And I'm already here But now so much has passed And I fought like hell but there's no use fighting fate It's a bastard and the faster you run No I can't stand the thought of losing Any more sleep than I already have My insomnia is getting bad Something in my head starts whispering You cant stand the thought of losing Any more blood than you already gave Once you lose enough forget you name What a long walk to such a shallow grave Buries our bodies all the same
6.
Laundry 03:48
I don't wanna do the laundry I don't wanna do it Just wanna sit out in the hot breeze Drunker than piss Just enjoy the weather while I can Until this all ends Don't wanna know where you are I'd rather shoot my toe off And when I go inside There's nothing but my clothes in a pile I don't wanna do the laundry That was kinda your thing Haven't had too many bad dreams Except reality The weathers nicer than a magazine But I still feel like shit Don't wanna know where you are I'd rather put on some sad song I started smoking again It's gonna help me get on with living without you And I don't wanna do the laundry I don't wanna do anything Just wanna sit out in the cold breeze shivering Winter hit me like a stampede I wasn't ready for it Don't wanna know where you are Just wanna turn my phone And I've gone so out of style As my clothes collect themselves in pile
7.
8.
I squint though binoculars Heavier than lead Down deep through the moon Craterous ahead Can I be the one that you run to Cause silent is the grave Can I be the one that you come with When everything has ended You've got a glimmer in you eyes And I feel like a child Again
9.
Is It Weird 03:19
These tiny thoughts amassed a grave Condition that cannot be traced And all my friends are here but they never seem to leave Write down all your dreams who do you wanna be Is It weird? When she came unannounced through the door Haphazard hair shook back and forth And I tried to reappear but I sank into the bed I heard caves of voices echo though my head Is it weird?
10.

credits

released July 31, 2020

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Matt Kreisher Atlanta, Georgia

Matt Kreisher records his music in the attic of his house in Atlanta GA.
He enjoys video games, beer, motorcycles, and tennis.

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